


Lost Friends Sleepless Nights

by Eylle9



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Canonical Character Death, FebuWhump2021, Gen, Insomnia, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eylle9/pseuds/Eylle9
Summary: Febuwhump Day #6 Prompt: InsomniaHow can you sleep when you are all alone? How can you sleep when your friends are gone?
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135274
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Lost Friends Sleepless Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Here is one more Post-Endgame fic. A few days ago I saw a post on Tumblr that reminded me how lonely Bruce is after the events of Endgame, so here is a fic about Bruce.

Bruce has been trying to sleep for a week now. The keyword was, unfortunately, “try.” He hadn't been able to get some sleep since the last battle.

It was not because he didn't have any time, but the memories would not let him. 

He would go to his bed like he always did, at the same hour every day, there wasn't anything to do in the night like there used to be. But then he would hear her voice, he would see her face when he closed his eyes. It was like she was there. _See you in a minute_ she would say, then her face would vanish from his dream, and he would wait for a minute but when he opened his eyes there wouldn't be anyone. He would be disappointed again, but not surprised, never surprised. 

Then he would turn to the other side of the bed but a small light would start to annoy him this time. A small light like a candle's, a candle that would give its light to the others but never to himself, it would get smaller and smaller in time and when Bruce would be about to fall asleep, it would shine like the arc reactor in the chest of his friend. With hope, he would open his eyes, but there would be no light, he would realize it was just a product of his own imagination.

He would go to the kitchen then, realizing he wouldn't be able to sleep like every night last week. 

He would cross the day off on the calendar, it was a way to remember how many days it had been, it was a way to remind himself what he had lost.

Then he would go and make coffee if it was an odd number on the calendar he would make it as Nat loved it, a straight black coffee, strong that would wake him up in a few minutes. If it was an even number he would make it like Tony loved it, not so different from Natasha but he would add a little bit of caramel in it, Tony always liked the aroma the caramel had left after finishing the coffee.

Then he would feel the ache in his arm, the ache was a reminder of how desperately he tried to bring Natasha back. It was a reminder of how he survived due to the gamma radiation in his blood while how Tony could not.

He would remember how much it hurt, he would remember how Tony didn't even shout, how he handled the pain and looked at Thanos' eyes and told him who he was. 

_I am Iron-Man._

Iron-Man was not just the armour, Bruce knew better than that. He worked enough with Tony to understand the armour was not designed to protect the person in it but it was meant to save the whole world. 

Then he would see Clint's face, looking at them after coming back to their time, with a stone in his hand but without Natasha. It was the face of someone who lost someone so important to him, like a part of him was taken. The feeling Bruce knew so well, a feeling that he felt after realizing what happened. He remembered the one tear in Cap's face, the way Tony tried to hide his feelings behind a pair of glasses. He would hear Thor's desperate words to find a way to bring her back, followed by Clint's bitter and defeated response. 

His coffee would be finished and he would leave the kitchen behind to go to the living room. He would not turn on the lights, the sun would rise in a few hours anyway. He would look outside, there would be no one at that hour but he would see Nat and Tony, lying with him, thinking about what time they should go to collect the stones. 

He would remember the memories, either sad or happy. The night would end like that, he would see the sun rising. He would remember the sun rising after a night spent in the labs, he would see Tony with two cups in his hand and they would continue their work.

He would remember waking up early to see Natasha standing right next to the window with two coffee cups in her hand, they would watch the sun rising together.

For a second he would feel Natasha and Tony with him, but then he would turn back to the reality where his friends sacrificed whatever they had so the others can live, like two real heroes. 

He would look out of the window one last time, he would turn to go to start a new day, he would leave the memories there so he could remember them again at night.

**Author's Note:**

> [Crazyinfj’s Tumblr! (aka the amazing beta because of whom all the fics I've written exists)](http://crazyinfj.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Eylle9’s Tumblr! (aka the writer)](https://tumblr.com/blog/eylle9)


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